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The Black Eyed Peas are making quite a living on opening up events and
award shows with their song "Let's Get it Started." It seems like every big event or celebration has to have them open it just because they have an appropriate
song title. If I was a musician, I think I'd focus solely on making these kinds of songs. I'd have titles like "Please Take your Seats, the Show's about to start," or "Thanks for Coming, Enjoy the Show," or "This is the Intro to the Show, Beyonce is Performing Later, Now Here's Your Host." As some of you might know, but most probably don't, the album version
"Let's Get it Started" is actually called "Let's Get Retarded." I'm not kidding. It was changed to be more radio friendly. I can't imagine many award shows or other events asking the Peas to open up their show with "Let's Get Retarded," except maybe the Special Olympics.
Speaking of sporting events, it's time for the NCAA basketball tournament. I always enjoy watching the tournament selection specials on ESPN and CBS. I enjoy seeing the teams that are on the “bubble” sitting around a monitor waiting for their name to be
called. I really wish they would have including Georgia into this bit. It would have been hilarious to see Coach Felton surrounded by the likes of Steve Newman, Buzz Wehunt, and Dave Bliss, huddled around the camera as Dick Vitale reads them their credentials.
Dick: “So, Coach Felton, do you think your wins over Gardner-Webb, Bethune Cookman, and certainly Wofford in overtime at home are enough to overcome your 231
RPI ranking?” Coach: “Well, Dick, I think not only our wins but also our losses speak volumes. I mean, you can’t overlook the fact that we only lost to Vanderbilt by
28 points in Nashville, a place that you know is very difficult to play in. I also hope that the committee takes a look at our season as a whole, including our exhibition games early in the season when we handled Trinity College, Douglas College, and St. Francis
Xavier, with the only blemish being against a tough University of British Columbia team. I really hope the committee overlooks the loss to Stetson at home. Everybody knows that Younes Idrissi ate a bad pork chop before the game and wasn’t able to give it his
all.” After not seeing their name after all of the regions are announced – Dick: “So Coach, are you disappointed?” Coach: “Well, Dick, our goal at the beginning of the
season was to win a national championship and this is certainly going to challenge that goal, but I think we can take this as motivation leading into next season.” Watching some much basket ball over the last couple of weeks has got me motivated to get in better shape.
Speaking of getting in better shape, I joined a gym about a month ago. That’s right, I’m a card carrying member of LA Fitness, which in Spanish is “The Fitness.” I tried to get in shape without joining a gym but it didn’t work out too well. I started running
at my apartment’s workout facility and I think I overdid it by thinking that I could still run at the same pace that I ran when I was in high school. I did really well for a few weeks, but then all of a sudden, my knees got mad at me and decided they didn't want to run anymore. I wish there was a less painful way of them telling me. I also broke my hip trying to catch my dentures as they fell out at the grocery store while I was shopping for arthritis cream and Grecian Grey Hair Concealer. I was more disappointed that I
missed the early bird special at Piccaddily and that day's episode of "Murder, She Wrote." I did make it to Bingo the next day. So, when I joined the gym, I convinced myself A) to use more machines than just the treadmill and B) take it slow, I'm not 24 anymore. The first night that I worked out was Valentines’ Night. It was great. I had basically the whole
facility to myself.
One of the big selling points to me was the full basketball court that LA Fitness has at one of their locations. On this night, I was able to shoot around for about an hour before I got winded and decided to leave. I was really feeling good about
my decision to join the gym. Then, on the next night, I learned that the first night was not a typical night. Apparently, a lot of people had plans to go out on Valentines Night, so that’s why the gym was fairly empty. Who knew? The second night (and every
night after that) was a completely different story. I peeked into the basketball gym and saw a 5-on-5 game going on with about 25 people waiting to play the next few games. And, not that there’s anything wrong with this, my presence there brought the overall average skin tone down quite a few shades. So, I just have to wait for the next holiday to get some time on the basketball court. I noticed that National Quilting Day is this Sunday, so I’m hoping that that will occupy most people’s time, so I can work on my free throws.
I’ve been a member for about a month now, and I’ve kept up a pretty good routine, roughly 4-5 days a week, riding the bike and running each of those days. I’ve gotten so ripped that Congress has subpoened me for questioning about steroids. Okay, maybe not.
I’ve come to realize that I am the most self conscious person in the world when it comes to working out. It’s borderline neurotic. For example, I go to two different LA Fitness locations, depending on which exercises I’m doing that day. It’s all based on where
that particular LA Fitness positions their machines. For instance, if I want to do the chest exercises, I’ll go to the LA Fitness 5 miles away from me because their chest machines are in a low traffic, low visibility area of the gym. The gym less than a mile from me has them positioned directly in front of the bikes and treadmills. They’re even facing each other.
I don’t want the people on the bikes looking at me at this time. But, the gym closest to me has the bicep, tricep, and ab machines tucked away in the back row of
machines, very low visibility. On the contrary, at the gym 5 miles from me, those machines are the first things you see when you walk into the gym after you
scan your card. I don’t want anybody’s first image to be me when they enter. That’s not good for either of us. The first night that I worked out with the machines, I knew I was doing something right when I felt an itch on my nose and I went to scratch it and I
was only able to punch myself in the throat. I looked like I was training for the Special Olympics.
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| "We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it." |
- Jack Nicholson
A Few Good Men
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Distributed Beers
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| 5 |
Sierra Nevada Bigfoot |
| 4 |
Guinness Draught |
| 3 |
Newcastle Brown Ale |
| 2 |
Bass Pale Ale |
| 1 |
Samuel Adams Boston Lager |
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